Panic from Hell
Ok... i've offically paniced now... cause.. I cried. Yes, you heard me..I fucking CRIED.. call me a baby, a woman, what have you... but if you don't know what the hell it's like to be in the situation i'm in.. FUCK OFF. Well I feel better a small bit after saying that, so.. on to other things. I talked with my LS today about some of the things that's going on, and some have offered to pitch in as a small group to keep my account active..and also save me a spot in the LS for when things clear up. That was the nicest thing i've ever heard..especially from people i've only known for like..3 months? Jazzy (xyjah) also said it would not be a problem for her to pay for my account comletly, so I told her thank you, but also to let me explore my options. Mary also is going to help me out, her mom sent me some money after she talked to her.. and it took everything in me to get past my way of not wanting to borrow money.. cause I fucking HATE doing that..but at this point..I realized i had to break down..and accept others offers to help. Hopefully I can get some kind of job fast, that's reliabe and good pay too...cause otherwise i'm gonna be in deeper shit than I already am. Tabetha and I been talking alot more outside of the game.. reading her journal is just mind blowing.. and is actually more like some things i can relate to.. just wish I had the drive to speak my opinion more like she does :O. Mary also offered me a place to stay for free..and her car to use until I can get back on track. Which I would LOVE to take up on as an offer..however.. if I give up the car i have now.. Mom = screwed over credit..and that's not something i wanna do is fuck over my mom's credit. /sigh Why does all this shit have to happen NOW?! GRR. Bah.. I guess now is as good a time as ever to wrap this entry up.. until next depressing time..
posted by Jason @ 4:25 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I wanna say something really cool back, but it's 5 AM and I'm so running out of coolness. Anyway, don't panic too hard, or go too crazy. We all need a big storm in our lifes, every once in awhile. Without the rain, we can't grow. It's bullshit, maybe. But you still have air in those lungs, and it's more important than a dollar sign. You'll struggle, obviously, but I'm certain you'll make it out alive. We're all... bulletproof. I wish I could help, but, I'm fucking broke now. Also, it doesn't take much to spit an opinion! God gave us a brain, a heart and a mouth, may as well put them to use while we can, right?
Hey there little bro. Listen, I know it sucks now, but like your friends are saying; it does get better. Maybe not as quickly as we'd like, but the trick it to focus on the reasons why you want to succeed and to keep your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel (or whatever). You know, after Jordan and I got married, it was like the bill collectors and shit decided to hold a conference in our honor and slam all at once. We had all these gifts and all this money and we wanted to do so much with it (like take a fucking honeymoon) but had to pay bills. It's not always what you like, but remember that life won't always be like this. Hey, if it makes you feel better, I've been coctail waitressing at a bar (ontop of my reg job) to help make ends meet. Remeber how I said that was the one thing I'd never do? Haha. Anways...I wish we were in a place to help you out but I had to borrow cash from the mother in law to fix our car. Hey, it may not be worth the drive, but my work is hiring and definately put down that your my brother. It will get your app a second look for sure. You know you can always call us if you need anything. We may not be able to help out but we can atleast listen or keep you company for a bit. Lots of love to you J.J.
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